No matter how hard you try
Won't let your lows blow my beautiful high

i reallyreally want to sleep but i couldnt bring myself to it. argh!

this week has been thus far the most miserable week ever cause ive been feeling all the feelings i shouldnt be feeling ( hahahahaha! if you get what i mean) especially when night sets in. i officially hate nights until i feel at my best, im currently at my lowest and it sucks. god, someone just save me from this misery.

but the trip to town with Nurul is love. i love going out with this lady cause we never run out of topics to talk about, we laughed over the silliest things ever and we sing our heart out like we have the nicest voice on earth. haha! babe, thanks for the company and the laughters. and and fate is the one thing, the strongest of us can't fight. hehe! we shall keep this our clean little secret. nyehehe! !

like children, i never give up on hope. i have faith in us because i know, i simply know you're the one i want to grow old and kerepot with. and like everyone who's in love, i hate the LOWs of relationship. it sucks, dont you think so?

and let me comfort myself cause ive pictures, pictures, pictures!!!


WAAAAY OVERDUE PICTURES

sheesha with makciks-makciks,






precious.

and KL(!!) like OMG so lamer already la,


the ladies


the gentlemen



love!

You're the reason why I'm in the moment and I'm alive

If I had wings and I could fly
Well I'd still walk with you



And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday

Everything - Michael Buble

the meetup with the boyfriend was bittersweet. one minute i was grinning like a mad girl the next i was close to tears and the other moment i felt butterflies in the stomach because i was too shy. you know what Cik Mahir? you're so lucky i cant be mad at you for long. and i want a proper date soon and i cant wait for next week! *evil laughters* and im trying to learn as much as i can in this department cause it's my first. so give me your hand and guide me through this journey. and no matter your decision, special unit or not, ill always be here ok. iloveu.

it was sumpah LOVE meeting them makciks-makciks just talking, ranting about our everyday lives, dreaming about getting married and laughing our asses of because of silly jokes at Simpang. Zila, no worries I will always go for a lookout just for you and thanks for the ride home hor. Veen, i cant wait to receive them card jemputans two years down the road! hahahaha. i love you girls sungguh banyak la!


The sweetest little song and I taste every little bit

If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still have him love

i guess it's not easy and im trying to adapt to everything. and no, i wont settle for second best cause i deserve the best. im Dee like that. petty nak mampus, you'll feel like throwing me from the tallest building, if you managed to carry me which i doubt so la. hurhur. and im trying to be as understanding as possible but dont take this for granted hor. ill make sure i karate chop your body into pieces if you do so. we shall meet tomorrow and insyaallah, we shall have a good time like we always do. i cant wait love and i love you.

anyhoos, we celebrated Suhaila's birthday on Monday at MadJack and im totally going there again. YUMMAY i tell you! and the meet up was what we needed, for me at least. i guess real/true friendships will go through all shits and still comes out stronger. and Su, be strong okay, i know you are and have fun celebrating your birthday! i love you girls!

and i cant wait for future meet ups with people-es!! *dancing around*


her 20th birthday,




blurred but loved.










loves!


Imagination is more important than knowledge.

like how you never fail to make me smile and leave me sleeping with a smirk on my face,

i love you.

I will be with you
Everywhere you go
Every little thing you do
Our love is here to stay
Even when the skies are gray
Even when I'm away
I'll be with you

my busy days are OVER! hurhur. i guess it will never be over until it's really over ( read:the end of my life). the week has been pretty fine and i am still smiling over the past events that have took place. =)

Gentarasa fringe performance went well and i guess all those late nights did us good. haha. i had fun with them girls, and since im quite new in the group, i am happy that ive bonded in a way or two with each of them. it has been great girls, thank you.

after which, i had a sumpah fun time with them charmed ones, my girlfriend and my curly minah. hahaha. selera cuppage for slice/fried fish soup, walking the street of orchard bitching/fighting/laughing, coffeebean for endless What comes to your mind first game was pure kekek and stupid and i cant believe it lasted for hours la. it was love, the amount of laughters we shared the whole night was simply awesome. i love you girls loads!

Johor with family on Friday was absolutely cinta! it's been awhile since we headed down and eat our stomachs out. the endless jokes and laughters are love and Papa is reallyreallyreally bad at directions despite the countless times we went there la. sheesh! ohh wells, saya sayang family! *peluk sekuat-kuat yang mungkin*

and boy, you know i miss you and it hasnt been rainbows and sweets for us but we will pull this through just fine, just fine. and i cant wait for dinner later! i love you.

and a Happy 20th birthday to Suhaila! Have a great year ahead and may you be bless with a beautiful and healthy life. and ohh, mak aku cakap kalau ade handphone tak reply baik buang tau. heh. i think it's just plain stupidity to be hiding some stuffs cause it's so freaking obvious and i know you will be reading this. and i think true friends tell you as it is. and you know, i dont fancy hyprocites.

so babe, ive guess we've drifted apart one way or another and i don't know if it's for the better or worse but i just want you to know that you'll always be a dear friend of mine and if in any case, you need a listening ear, ill be here like how i used to. and fyi, im not all glad that this happen but i guess HE has something in store for us in the future. for now, have fun celebrating your birthday and i see you soon. i love you.

Gentarasa Fringe Performance,






dian


dian and ps

my charmed, my gf, my curly minah,


cipahs and her part time bf. haha


girlfriend


curlyminah


liyana and bitch.










love, just love!

Johor with family,


mama!


baby and me


siblings, siblings!

the day we send Abang off,




do we look like bestfriends for life? HAHAHA!


after training










very fun people! haha

Memories are here to stay

You'll always be my sunshine
Noone compares to you




heels can be such a BITCH when you wear it for 9 hours straight. i swear i was cringing everytime my feet moved a step forward BUT i just had to maintain that cool look ( HAHA! cool abis!). i mean, you have to look like you owe the heels, no matter how painful it is. sheesh! no more heels for the week la.

interviews can be such a gruesome process. sometimes i cant even understand what nonsense im spouting but i so had to act like i know it all and im confident on what im saying. nyehahaha! now, im just hoping for the best. insyaallah. *cross fingers*

i had a good sleep since im back by 7 just now. such an accomplishment, if you were to ask me. hehe! it felt good being home early after all them late nights. and the parents was being such love and the siblings have yet to get on my nerves. so it's been love and peaceful for me. hahaha. garh, i love my family laa!

and my my my, i feel like hugging my friends cause i miss them muchosnachos to the bestfriends to the busok to the miss Nursey to my makciks-makciks who are both on holidays ( not fair!) to the SNT-ians specially us alumnis and those two remaining ( HAHAHAHA!). * holding a cart that says FREE HUGS*

and that Mr Kudut-entalan lodehs can be so irritating but i missmissmissmiss him so much already. and Cipah after much thought, no, i dont want my boyfriend to serve the nation. nyehahaha!


That you will always be my everything

One day when youth is just a memory,
I know you'll be standing right next to me

im busy, busy, busy, busy like a bee. *buzzing non-stoping* hurhur. we humans, never have enough time eh?

i would love to pour my heart and soul out but i dont have time by my side and thus a quick rant about my ohhsobusylife ( nyehahaha!) will make me happy. ive been busy with dance due to Gentarasa fringe performance, trainings have been tiring and full of sweats but love nonetheless. =)

ive been neglecting my family alot and no, i dont like the idea of it. i dont even have time to find a gift for my dad. HOW SAD! and papa, HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY and i hope this will make do for now. i love you no matter how irritating you could be and please take care and be fit and healthy soon. i dont like seeing you lying down and sleeping, i miss you picking up on us. hehe!

speaking of gifts, ive yet to buy my friends their waaaay belated presents. and im sorry, very sorry BUT at least i still remember right? hahaha! akan aku beli kan hadiah-hadiah kamu orangs dengan segera! *looks guilty-ly at Marl, Cipah and ok, i hope that's that*

and i miss my boyfriend already. garh!! and thank you love for being the chauffer, the street directory, the one who has to wait for hours, the one who accompanied me around for a very important thing, the one who got scolding due to the socrhing hot sun and the sumpah annoying heels just because. i cant thank you enough Mr awaksungguhirritating! wa lup sama lu! HAHAHA!

do wish me all the luck i can find in the world ok. insyaallah, ill be home smiling and singing my heart out later.

and i just realised that this is not a quick update! HAHAHAHA!


Last Saturday,


love love love!


We all have our time machines. Some take us back; they're called memories. Others take us forward; they're called dreams

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin




im sick, sick like that. sheesh!

everyone around me is sick, the brother, the boyfriend, the friends. argh! now all of you, take good care of yourself, penting tau!

ive always wanted to update, but never had the chance to la. since im wide awake when i really should be sleeping, i feel i should pour my heart out. nyeh! and just now due to my irritating nose and my sumpahakumalasnakkerja mode, i decided to take half day. i had a goood sleep, a very gooood sleep! hehe.

work has become so routine that im so sick of it, the thought of just going to Novena makes me hurl. thank god for the fun company that i have and the constant reminder that this is just temporary. and im still clueless on where to head after this stint is over, should i or should i not? im glad the parents never hurry me about what i REALLY want to do with my future, cause i am FREAKING CLUELESS laa. and im just thankful, they are always there to give me the advices and support i need. alhamdulilah.

after training on Wednesday, the boyfriend fetched me after dance and headed to my place. i had a jollygollygood time with him til late just joking and laughing and doing stupid stuffs. the parents send him home since he's sick and looked so fragile, BUT i guess, even if he's not sick, he'll still look fragile cause he's kudut like that. nyehehe. i love you and please take good care of yourself ok. and and saya miss awak.

on Tuesday, i met up with Marl and Shaf after eons of not seeing them. it was fun just talking and catching up at Starbucks ( memang da takde tempat lain! hahaha) til late. thanks for the laughters and laughters and more of it. aku sayang korangs and ohh, Marl you'll be the next ibu-ibu, bapa-bapa soon with them heels! haha!

i forsee my days will be spend on dance and dance and dance cause we have a performance coming up on 23rd June. sungguh tidak sabar! dance has been fun despite the nose being such a bitch. i love dancing no matter how tiring it could be. *dancing around* and Cipah, going home with you is fun la, kite bebual mengalahkan makcik bawah blok seh ( hahhaa!) and yes, we all shall have a gathering pretty soon. im missing the SNT-ians, the ex and currents.

ok now, wish me luck and do pray for me. im crossing my fingers. insyaallah. ill see the light soon.

argh! working in 4 hours time. YAY! hurhurhurhurhur. ohh wells, TGIF!


When we cannot act as we wish, we must act as we can

Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket.




i had a lovely time with the boyfriend from Swensen-ing where i FINALLY ( !!) tried Banana Crumble which is YUMMAY dan sugguh sedaps hingga menjilat sudu! to cheesecake-ing, which implies only to me since the boyfriend dislike cheese which is very weird cause cheese is GOOOD, REAL GOOOOD! ( nyehahah!) to Shrek-ing 2 & 3 ( and i would love to have donkey's baby! haha) to ANTM-ing at my place. it was love, just love. i adore that boyfriend of mine, if you haven't know. =)

and putting aside the love im feeling inside, i actually feel like crying cause i need so many answers to the 124983975498 questions that are running inside this head of mine. it's very scary and it is driving me insane. i am at lost actually, and im afraid of the future. but i hope i'll find those answers soon. i know HE has something instore for me and i need to work hard to obtain them. insyaallah.

im missing my secondary school friends like freaking alot la. garh, i will meet you people soon like cepat-cepat jangan tangguh-tangguh lagi hor. andand i miss Ili and Ad very much. Ad, stop busying yourself with babies ( haha!) and meet me soon, i need my dosage of bitch. haha.

and i so cant wait for later, shopping with them babes! after work, if i may add. hurhur.


Life is a series of memories that you make

Love doesn't have to have a happy ending cause love doesn't have to end at all



happy 6th months love.

andand ill hold on to your words hor. *smiling like a silly girl*

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit



We've been together for a while now
We're growin' stronger everyday now
It feels so good and there's no doubt
I will stay with you
As each morning brings sunrise
And the flowers bloom in springtime
All my love you can rely
And I'll stay with you

Oh I'll stay with you through the ups and the downs
Oh I'll stay with you when no one else is around
And when the dark clouds arrive
I will stay by your side
I know we'll be alright
I will stay with you

Though relationships can get old
They had a tendency to grow cold
We have somethin' like miracle
Yeah, I'll stay with you

And there will be heartaches and pains, yes it will
But through it all, we will remain
In this life, we all know
Friends may come and they may go
Through the years I know I will stay

And in the end I know that we'll find
Love so beautiful and divine
We'll be lovers for the lifetime, yeah
And I'll stay with you I will stay with you

Stay with you - John Legend

i love you just like that, thank you for making me smile all over and over and over again and still gave in to my every demands/cravings/and watever nonsense. garh! im lucky. teehee. *flying up in the sky*

and and i want to cut my hair short again but in boyfriend exact words "If you cut your hair, we will only meet when your hair is longer" wahlao eh! how can like that one. ill cut my hair when he's serving NS then. hrmph! hehe.

My life just doesn't work without you



There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because when the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever

cause you know im sorry love. and i miss you loads. we shall meet pretty soon and i promise ill be a very good girlfriend like you ( a boyfriend ) are to me.

my day was spend splendid-ly-ly with my makciks-makciks. its been ages and all we did was catching up and story sharing and laughed and laughed. i love them girls so much. Bugis for random walking with Veen was fun and yes, we will meet forever and ever. *winks at Veen* after which, we headed to El Sheikh and waited for the forever sumpah late girls. sheesh! ah, but it was worth the wait laa. we sheesha-ed ( like finally!), munch and munch on fries, calamaris and talked and laughed and talked and laughed. Liyana suggested Marina South Pier, and off we went. garh! im so in love with the place! sungguhnice.com/menenangkanjiwa nyehaha! and babe, thanks for the ride hor! i had a reallyreallyreally fabulous time with you girls and Zila, i hope we did allow you to let your tudung down! =)

i think im sick like that and i know i shouldnt feel this way.

i cant wait for dance later. *dancing around*


Maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like

I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am

happy Monday-in! happy working! happy holiday-in!

my Sunday was spend with the family and it was pure bliss. i love our Changi-s trip eating nasi lemaks by the beach. and when the parents decided to have their alone time walking along the beach, we would be playing swings like it's the most appropriate thing to do when it was almost 12 in the morning. haha. i love my family to bits and pieces, no matter how we could get on each other nerves almost everyday. *pelukan yang teramat kuat*

and i dont think i can fake it no longer. maybe im just over it, over you and over us. and nothing you could do would make the situation better. lets stop playing pretend shall we?

i cant wait for the meet up with the makciks-makciks! it's been awhile la babes! andand suddenly i feel like playing the role of a planner, i shall plan two gathering soon, very soon.

and ohh, i miss the boyfriend.

close to my heart,


Papa will have to stop acting cool!


ah the love!




sisters sisters sisters!

Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other

♥ Diyanah
♥ 13 Nov 87


I forget my existence in a deep kiss with you